Honestly, it looks kind of terrible to me. Not to mention how unreadable text is since there’s apparently no guaranteed contrast with black text due to the transparent backgrounds. I feel like I’m going crazy with all the random articles praising it.

“He’s just joking!”

The problem with the battery is that it’s glued in and requires basically destroying the foam it sits on, with no available replacement for the foam or specifications given AFAIK.

Also, if we’re just talking anecdotes here, I have at least two Nintendo devices from the 2000s that ended up with swollen batteries. This has actually reminded me that I might need to check again.

I mean, it’s clearly not meant to last decades given the battery situation.

I’ve heard of some blockchain based systems referred to as decentralized cloud before (including stuff like Sia and Storj, which I guess is what OP wants). I haven’t looked into them that much, but IIUC they push most (all?) controls and so on to the edge. I’m not sure I’d use them though since the networks aren’t super large.